Is a person's credit score a major factor when dating?

He’s over 5’5” tall, holds the door, is photogenic, has good hair, and doesn’t call you “Dude,” while high-fiving you - everything you always wanted in a man.  She’s pretty without caking on the makeup, is way smarter than you, laughs at your bad jokes, and lies to you that she likes sports – your dream girl.  The first date goes wonderfully, the conversation effortless, and before you know it you’re the last two customers at Applebee's splitting a double fudge alamode brownie.  Date number two and especially number three (wink!) are even better, and you’re certain you found the love of your life and marriage bells are in the not-so-distant future.  What could possibly go wrong?

There comes a time in every relationship where you have to sit down and have THE talk.  It’s a moment people dread.  No, I’m not talking about the talk about monogamy or that you have 11 cats or a restraining order against your crazy ex, I mean the talk about your credit score.  Wait – what?  Did you say, “credit score?”

Yup, according to a recent survey, that’s a big hot button issue for relationships these days.  FreeCreditScore.com (which isn’t free, by the way) polled 1,000 adults and came up with these shocking results:

While 57% of men say that credit scores play into their dating decisions, a staggering 75% of women said they consider the numerical rating.

Those are huge numbers!  Still, that just means they’ll “consider” your credit score, but what if the number is in the dumps? 


About 30% of women and 20% of men say they won't marry a person with a low credit score.

People who took the poll also said that money management skills are just as important as looks when deciding whether someone is worth pursuing.  Women ranked financial responsibility and financial compatibility above or the same as career ambition, physical attraction and sex and intimacy.

Male pollsters thought that financial savvy was just as important as physical attraction, slightly less important than sex and intimacy and much more important than career ambition.

Hmmm…my first question is where the heck did they find these 1,000 people that think a credit score is more important than physical attraction?!  But, on second thought, they were asking about credit score and marrying someone.  It’s a valid concern, with implications that spread far beyond a person’s FICO.  

There are many factors that would cause a person’s credit score to dip, especially through the recession, like a job loss, medical issue, or bad loan on a home, but for the most part a bad credit score may signal financial irresponsibility or being overburdened with debt.  That’s a red flag when you’re dating someone and thinking about taking the next step.  When you get married the other person’s debt and financial responsibilities often become your burden, and no one wants to set themselves up in a terrible financial situation.  After all, it is “For better or for worse.”

About 50% of survey participants said they’ve talked about credit score with their significant other, while 39% do so during the first year of the relationship.  21% broach the subject before even committing to a relationship and 19% compare scores before living together.  Only 1% discuss their credit scores on the first date.  (Hi, I’m Bob, I enjoy long walks on the beach, puppy dogs, and have a 685 midrange FICO.)  

And why not?  When we’re dating in someone and interested, don’t we “pull their file” by asking about them with our mutual friends?  Comb through their Facebook page?  Google their name?  Get a blood test?  It’s not even unheard of to do a background check to see if they have a criminal record, especially for single parents who just want to be careful. 

In fact, even Suze Orman, Mrs. Financial Guru herself, suggested on a recent appearance on the Oprah show that, “Before you get involved in a relationship or anything, FICO first, then sex.”

Ok Suze, maybe that’s taking it a little too far, but the point is noted.  Even the younger generation is cautious, as there’s growing concern over getting involved long term with someone who’s addled with student loan or credit card debt in their 20’s, setting the potential-couple back decades when it comes to buying a house or saving for a family.

As I researched this topic I also asked for feedback from our Blue Water Credit fans and friends.  Here were some responses to the question, “Would credit score be a factor in who you dated or married?”

“If they have learned from their mistake I don't care about their bank account or credit score. I draw the line at fraud and crime.”

“It would depend on the person and circumstances. Some folk get a bad rating based on stuff totally out of their control.”

“Date?  No.  Marry? Absolutely!”

Even a well-respected bankruptcy attorney in Sacramento, Gary F. Zilaff, offered some great insight, “One of the common requests I get from potential legal clients who wish retain my office to file a bankruptcy is because their fiancé or fiancée will not marry them without clearing off their bad credit! Many times it is the fiancée who calls me!”

So we now know that simultaneously while you’re sharing that double fudge brownie together at Applebees and staring longingly into they’re…eyes…remember to ask how they sit with Equifax, Transunion, and Experian.  But are we taking it a little too far?

There’s now a dating site that matches potential love interests based on…their credit score.  I’m not making this up.  Unlike other dating sites for singles, CreditScoreDating.com attempts to pair people based on their FICO first and then their interests and profile photo.  Here is the enticing copy right off their site:“Welcome To CreditScoreDating where good credit scores are sexy. The future of dating is here now. We use the member input credit scores in our matching process to help you find your perfect match.  Join now for a free upgraded Silver membership. Romance plus good credit scores equals dating and romantic success.

800-850 is "MARRIAGE POTENTIAL DING DING DING"750-800 is "take him/her home to Mom"700-750 is a "fixer-upper"650-700 is "fun for a night out, maybe, but bring cash"600-650 is "keep lookin'!"anything below 500 is "RUN because they won't even get a car loan, probably, and how embarrassing will that be at the PTA meetings?”

So far the site has gotten a ton of media coverage as a novelty, but not many actual participants.  I'm guessing that's because in the real world - where people have job losses, income problems, resetting loans, credit card's playing with their interest rates, divorces, etc., snafus with credit score happen.  So unless you're planning to be in a relationship with Suzy Orman, don't feel bad about it - just come to us and we'll help you rebuild your score so you'll be datable and desirable once again.  

:-)